personal
Showing posts with label personal. Show all posts

This Year, Choose Yourself

January 12, 2019


Looking back, how did you live your life?

I know it's tiring to keep looking for love. You don't want to be alone. You don't want to feel empty. But are you ready to be in a relationship just to show him you've moved on? Or you only want to shut  those people up because you are so fed up with them snooping around?

This year, tell yourself that it is okay to be alone. Love yourself because no one can really fill up those empty spaces. No one can fix you. You have to fix yourself.

Have you given so much of yourself for others? You want to be always there for them, take care of them, prioritize them. Did it ever came to a point when you asked yourself, "who takes care of the caregiver?" or did you ever feel so drained you can't even take care of yourself?

This year, learn to say no. It is not selfish and don't feel guilty. Those who really care for you will understand that you also need time for yourself. 

Are you holding on to past hurts, past relationships, failures and what ifs? How long have you been carrying that heavy feeling in your heart? Does holding on ever make you feel good? Did it change anything?

This year, let go. You can't heal if you keep yourself stuck in the past. You are robbing yourself the happiness of what is happening in the now and the bright future ahead of you. 

Are you pressured by your friend's success? Does social media make you feel like you are not achieving something worth bragging?

This year, appreciate what you have. Never envy an instagrammable life. Don't pressure yourself to conform with other people's definition of success. Set your goals and work on it. If giving up an extra cup of rice is an achievement for you, who cares if someone on facebook bought a brand new car?

Every morning, get up and put your happiness first. You can spread happiness only when you are happy. You will only be able to love other people the right way when you love yourself.

This year, choose yourself!

(Note to self: It's okay to ask for help and you just did that. Thank you, Maricar.)



Read More

My Word of the Year: Healing

January 04, 2019


I am not into New Year's Resolution because I don't wait for the first day of the year to make some changes in my life. Instead, I choose a word that will help me become a better person. When I started Forty and Beyond, I picked fitness. Last year's word was focus.

Why I chose healing for 2019

A book that has made an impact in my life is Mitch Albom's "The Five People You Meet in Heaven".  When I learned about the sequel "The Next Person You Meet in Heaven", I started googling quotes from the book while waiting for its availability in the bookstore. I chanced upon these lines:


"... because we embrace our scars more than our healing, we can recall the exact day we got hurt. But who remembers the day the wound was gone?"

I knew right away that my word for 2019 is healing. 

2007 was the worst year of my life. I was betrayed and was left feeling empty. I was never the same person since then. I started believing that every person I know will eventually hurt me. And those who have hurt me are capable of hurting me again.

I'm still struggling. 

I'm so preoccupied with nursing a perceived hurt I have not noticed that the genuine hurt was already gone. 

12 years of dwelling. 

This morning, I was decluttering and organizing my stuff. I opened the book "Yesterday I Cried" and read this dedication



I don't cry anymore or feel a stab of pain whenever I remember what happened in 2007. But there are times I still feel angry with the people who had caused me pain. Lately, It's my parents death that makes the tears rolling. A different kind of pain that I have to get used to.

I want to heal.
I need to heal.


Read More

My Journey To Financial Independence

October 31, 2018


If you ask me what my job was before I embraced freelance writing, you'd be surprised it's all about numbers. The first five years of my career, I worked in a bank handling investments. The last five years were spent preparing budgets and analyzing the financial statements. I can say that I had a fulfilling career and I excelled in my field. I had financial stability. Unlike freelancing, I received my paycheck twice a month. 

My dad did not approve when I told him I don't want an 8-5 job anymore. He was in the corporate for 30 years and my mom was a dedicated public school teacher for 20 years. I was only working for a decade and already calling it quits.

So, why did I leave?

I want to quit my job and do what I love at age 30.

It was actually easy even though most of the time I don't get compensated. My husband is financially capable of supporting me and I'm confident my parents will be there for me no matter what. I thought to myself, this is financial independence! I don't need to work but the bills get paid and I don't need a lifestyle change.

I spent too much. My savings got depleted. My parents passed away. I was broke and depressed. My financial situation was a big mess. I'm an accountant who let my finances control me. 


My journey began with acceptance. It was the moment I admitted  that I was just making myself believe I was financially independent but the truth is I was financially dependent from my husband and parents.

My husband is way better than me when it comes to budgeting. It's a shame that I was so strict with the company budget but unmindful with my own money. I relearned how to manage my money. Budgeting is very important no matter how much money you have. Setting a weekly and a monthly budget helped me track where my money is spent. 

Knowing where my money is spent, I started becoming debt-free. I made sure I don't make unnecessary purchases using my credit card. I don't buy things I don't need even if it's on sale. I don't travel just because everybody does or there's a promo. I don't fall for the 0% interest.  If you find it difficult to control yourself from swiping that card, leave it at home. 



I used to say, I blog for passion. I don't care whether I get paid or not. This kind of thinking is wrong. I should care because I incur expenses. How am I supposed to achieve financial independence if I don't have an income? 

I still write for passion. But I am now smarter in choosing the events I attend. I also grab writing opportunities that pay me without the need to leave home. I work hard in making my blog generate income


This is my latest vision board. Now that I am earning, I have vowed to invest sensibly. I want to be prepared for life's unexpected expenses. My family spent more than a million when my mom got cancer and underwent chemotherapy. My dad's hospital bill was P700,000 when he was confined for almost a month.  The most recent was my sister's emergency CS that cost us P326,000. Am I ready for that should something happen to me?

Should I really get an insurance or should I invest again in the bank?



I have already checked the different products and services offered by Sun Life Financial and even computed if I could afford using the the life insurance calculator.

At first, I was just looking for an insurance product since I currently have two 5-year fixed rate investments in the bank. But when I saw the Sun MaxiLink Bright, it was a eureka moment.  It is an investment-linked life insurance plan that offers a combined benefit of insurance protection and investment. 


I got in touch with Neri, my co-blogger and a Sun Life financial advisor, to give me more information about Sun Maxilink Bright. She was able to explain everything I want to know. In a few days, I will be receiving "the gift" for my 42nd birthday. I get to enjoy life more and worry less because I know I am financially prepared for whatever life will throw at me.

Do you want to be financially independent? Learn from my experience. Set a goal. Plan. Act. Achieve. While it's better to start young, what is more important is for you to start NOW. 


Read More

Reasons Why I Want An Insurance For My Birthday

September 16, 2018


I'm turning 42 in two days. In the past years, I  splurged on my birthday. I usually book a 3-bedroom suite and spend time with the family. Last year, we went on a 5-day vacation in Singapore. I don't mind spending if it means creating memories with the ones I love.

You might be thinking where I am right now. I actually planned a beach getaway or a staycation at my favorite serviced residences in BGC. But today, I am in my home office writing this article. Tonight, we will have a simple family dinner at a nearby mall. 

Am I not excited to celebrate my 42nd birthday? 

I am. I can't wait to be with my family. But an incident a few months ago got me thinking. 

Last Mother's Day, my sister was admitted in the hospital. She had to undergo emergency CS because the doctors could no longer control her blood pressure. 220/180. Her life and the baby's were at risk. Sadly, we gained an angel. The hospital bill was P326,000. I really don't care about the bill. All I want was for my sister to live. Well, it was easy for me to say I don't care about the bill because our parents left us with more than enough for life's unexpected expenses. My dad has bought insurance plans. He prepared not just for his and my mom's retirement. He prepared for me and my siblings too. My mom battled cancer for 8 years and went through chemo twice. My dad got hospitalized twice and we spent P700,000. My parents never burdened us financially. Their insurance were more than enough to cover everything. More than enough that me and my sisters can still live comfortably after they were gone.

I don't believe in insurance. My first job was an investment assistant in a bank and somehow got comfortable in investing my money in time deposits and long-term fixed rate investments. The interest rates are low but I felt like it's fine. I am stubborn at times. I have experienced the convenience of having an insurance but still has not gotten one for myself.


I can say that I'm very conservative when it comes to taking risks to a point where I sometimes don't take any action at all. I came across this quote by John F Kennedy and it really got me thinking. 

What am I really afraid of? Is it the risk of investing in something I am not familiar with? Or the fear of admitting that I have been stubborn all these years?

Reasons Why I Want an Insurance for my Birthday


I must admit that losing my parents made me feel anxious about what will happen to me and my sisters should things go wrong. There are sleepless nights of thinking and worrying about my family's future. Then one day while stuck in traffic I decided, an insurance will give me peace of mind and getting an insurance is the right thing to do.  



I have been checking out the website of Sun Life Financial these past few months trying to learn about their different products. I'm the type who is not comfortable talking to a financial advisor yet until I am equipped with at least basic knowledge about a product, in this case insurance. I'm so glad Sun Life provides online tools that allows me to discover, explore and calculate.

I think I have also found a financial advisor who is a perfect match for me. I have gotten in touch with her and will start asking for advice and guidance in choosing the product that will best suit me.

This is the best birthday gift I could give not just myself but also my loved ones. Life is too fun to waste on worrying. 

Read More

5 Financial Habits Every Freelancer Should Have

July 27, 2018


I quit my corporate work in 2008. When I graduated from college in 1997, I told myself that I will only work in an office setup for a decade. I saved all my 16th month bonus pay and was very diligent with my spending to achieve my goal: Quit 8-5 work in 10 years and pursue my passion.

The first few months of my freelance work was very challenging. There were times I almost applied for an office work. I was happy pursuing my passion in writing but my funds were almost depleted. There even came a time when I was financially dependent on my husband. He is generous but I was raised working hard for money. 

Most of my friends are envious of my freelance work. They see my social media posts and they feel like I'm just having fun and enjoying my life. Pursuing your passion doesn't mean you'll instantly get rich. Freelancing is never easy. It requires the same qualities an office worker should have: hardwork, discipline, and dedication.

If you are planning to pursue your passion and do freelance work, you cannot do it halfheartedly. Also, your financial habits can make or break you. Here are some financial habits you should develop.

Financial Habits Every Freelancer Should Have 



Avoid unnecessary spending

Keep in mind that you have limited resources and having a credit card doesn't entitle you to go on a shopping spree. Only spend for the things you will need for your freelance job. I was using my dependable 7-year old HP Pavilion laptop for my writing gig since I don't really need a high-end laptop. I only bought a new Dell laptop last year from the money I earned when the one I was using was beyond repair already.  I paid in cash because I don't want to be dependent on my credit card. I'm still saving up for a new mid-range smartphone. 

Remember: If you don't need it, don't buy it.


Know your worth and get paid for it

I was paid $2 for my first ghostwriting gig in 2008. I was required to submit 25 100-word articles weekly about boutique hotels and restaurants in South Korea. I felt that $50 weekly income was fair enough for a newbie like me. Fast forward to 2018, the highest pay I received for a 300-word article was $140. 

Filipino freelancers are a bit shy when discussing about money. I see freelance writers accepting $2 job for a 500-word article. That was my rate 10 years ago for 100 words. Never let anyone take advantage of you. If you know you are doing a good job, your rate should reflect the amount. You should know the going rate for the job in your niche. 


Save before you spend

Most of us are accustomed to the equation INCOME - EXPENSES = SAVINGS. For a change, try the INCOME - SAVINGS = EXPENSES and see the difference. Every month or every pay you receive for your freelance work, set an specific amount you wish to save. It could be a percentage of your earnings. Make sure that you set a realistic amount. It is okay to start small. 

"Do not save what is left after spending but spend what is left after saving." Warren Buffett

Have an emergency fund

Freelancers do not have the perks of those working in the corporate like health card, paid leaves, bonus and retirement plan. The ideal amount of emergency fund is equivalent to a three-month salary. Since freelancers are not paid with fixed amount, determine how much your monthly expenses and multiply it by three. Also, take into consideration the amount you might be needing in case you get sick or hospitalized.

Our family went through some financially challenging situations. My mom fought cancer twice, my dad got hospitalized twice in 2016 that has cost us roughly 500k. Recently my sister was unexpectedly confined for a week and the hospital bill was 320k. Tough! 

Truth: It is very expensive to get sick. Consider having a health protection insurance. I'm actually looking into Sunlife's Sun Maiden for my health protection needs. 

Tip: Be a voluntary PHILHEALTH member. You only need to pay P2,400 annually or P600 quarterly. If you can afford to buy a cellphone load, you definitely can afford to pay for your PHILHEALTH.   


Avoid having a fake blessed life

Are you familiar with the phrase "keeping up with the Jones"? It originated from the early 1900s comic strip where a social climbing family struggled to keep up with their neighbor, The Jones. The idiom became popular and means the comparison to one's neighbor as a benchmark for social class. 


People nowadays are so concerned with their facebook feeds and instagrammable life. Looking rich on social media is not the same as being rich. Live a lifestyle you can afford. Instead of focusing on what your  friends are buying and where they are travelling, focus on your goals. 

Aim for financial independence instead of social media likes. 


They say, "follow you passion and the money will come". Yes it will. Eventually. You must love what you do and never stop learning. There will always be someone better than you who will come along. Be financially savvy but maintain your integrity. Work hard to afford to live your life on your own terms.


Read More

What I've Learned From My La Union Trip

June 27, 2018



If you have traveled with me, you'd be surprised with how my La Union trip turned out to be. I'm such an OC thus making travelling stressful from planning to returning home. La Union was a different story. I was not even hands-on and I was not bothered.

I learned that..



it is possible to leave my comfort zone. I should not be way too concerned about how the bed or the bathroom look like. It should not always be better than what I have at home. I can enjoy a good meal even when I'm scared of the cats under the table. 

it's okay not to have a plan. My OC level during travels is having a comprehensive itinerary. I already know what time to go to a certain place, the route, the cost, everything. But it's okay to not have a plan. Forget about the "must-see", "must-eat", and "must-try". It's okay not to know where to eat or where to go next. You'll be surprised with what you'll discover. 

i can be more grateful. Wouldn't it be better if we complain less? The weather was unpredictable when I was in La Union. We experienced more rain than sun but it's okay. We managed not to have an idle moment. The pork in the sinigang was on the tough side but the soup was so comforting. The coffee shop where we wanted to have breakfast doesn't open until 9 but we were grateful to find a better place to eat.

i am free to be me. I don't need to bring beautiful clothes to have a praise-worthy #OOTD on my social media accounts. I can eat as much as I want without being judged of getting fat. I can do ridiculous things and not worry I'll get caught by the camera lens looking stupid. 

a good company is all I need. I have never traveled with friends or strangers. I've known Arnel and Ted from the blogging community for a few years only and I'm glad I got to have them with me. No dramas. No expectations. They helped me shed my selfish, pampered self and broaden my perspective about life.


La Union has changed me. And when life gets suffocating, I'll be coming back again and again.


Read More

Celebrating Father's Day Without Dad

June 16, 2018


I deal with grief on two occasions every June. First is every 3rd of the month, my dad's birthday. Second is every Father's Day. It's the 2nd year that he is no longer with us and I thought it will be easier compared to the first time. It's not.

For those like me who have lost their father, you very much understand what I mean. Photos on social media of families celebrating with their fathers seem like a reminder of what we are missing. And it hurts so bad regardless of where you are in the healing process. 

How do you plan to celebrate Father's Day, especially if it's your first Father's Day when he is longer around?


Read More
...