My Word of the Year: Healing

January 04, 2019

I am not into New Year's Resolution because I don't wait for the first day of the year to make some changes in my life. Instead, I choose a word that will help me become a better person. When I started Forty and Beyond, I picked fitness. Last year's word was focus.

Why I chose healing for 2019

A book that has made an impact in my life is Mitch Albom's "The Five People You Meet in Heaven".  When I learned about the sequel "The Next Person You Meet in Heaven", I started googling quotes from the book while waiting for its availability in the bookstore. I chanced upon these lines:

"... because we embrace our scars more than our healing, we can recall the exact day we got hurt. But who remembers the day the wound was gone?"

I knew right away that my word for 2019 is healing. 

2007 was the worst year of my life. I was betrayed and was left feeling empty. I was never the same person since then. I started believing that every person I know will eventually hurt me. And those who have hurt me are capable of hurting me again.

I'm still struggling. 

I'm so preoccupied with nursing a perceived hurt I have not noticed that the genuine hurt was already gone. 

12 years of dwelling. 

This morning, I was decluttering and organizing my stuff. I opened the book "Yesterday I Cried" and read this dedication

I don't cry anymore or feel a stab of pain whenever I remember what happened in 2007. But there are times I still feel angry with the people who had caused me pain. Lately, It's my parents death that makes the tears rolling. A different kind of pain that I have to get used to.

I want to heal.
I need to heal.