There’s No One Way to Heal from Loss and That’s Okay
Grief is something we all go through, the loss of a loved one, a pet, or even a chapter in our lives. One day you feel okay, and the next, you’re overwhelmed by tears. It’s unpredictable, exhausting, and deeply personal.
According to Dr. Jon Edward B. Jurilla from the Department of Psychiatry at Makati Medical Center (MakatiMed), one of the country’s top hospitals, there’s no right or wrong way to grieve.
“Grief is a very personal experience. No two people grieve alike,” says Dr. Jurilla. “You don’t need to follow all five stages of grief in order and it’s okay if you skip some or feel emotions not included in the model, like shock or guilt.”
Why Grief Feels So Heavy
Losing someone close can feel like losing a part of yourself. The emotional pain is real, and it can manifest physically too like sleepless nights, exhaustion, or even loss of appetite.
“Grief is a natural, human response that can be physically and emotionally gut-wrenching,” explains Dr. Jurilla. “Losing a spouse, parent, or child can feel like losing a part of you, because in reality, they were.”
How to Grieve in a Healthy Way
Dr. Jurilla reminds us that the first step toward healing is acknowledgment allowing yourself to feel everything. Here’s how to navigate your journey through grief in a healthier way:
1. Acknowledge Your Emotions
Don’t bottle things up. Cry if you must, scream if you need to, and allow yourself to experience the full weight of your feelings. Healing begins when you stop judging yourself for being human.
2. Talk About It
Whether it’s with a close friend, a family member, a counselor, or a faith leader, talking about your grief helps lighten the burden. Sometimes, saying your thoughts out loud can be cathartic and bring much-needed clarity.
3. Express Yourself Creatively
Write your thoughts in a journal, paint, or go for a quiet walk in nature. Finding your own outlet helps process emotions that words can’t always express.
4. Stay Connected
Grieving doesn’t have to be lonely. Surround yourself with people who truly care about you. If you can, join support groups where you can share experiences with others who understand what you’re going through.
5. Take Care of Your Body
Grief can drain your energy. Remember to eat well, sleep enough, and accept help from others. If someone offers to drive you somewhere or treat you to lunch, saying yes to small acts of care can make a big difference.
6. Keep Their Memory Close
It’s natural to want to keep a part of your loved one with you. You can wear something they owned, keep a favorite photo nearby, or create a small memorial space at home.
7. Remember the Good Times
Reminiscing about happy memories, inside jokes, or little quirks can help soften the pain. These moments remind you of the love that remains, even after loss.
8. Take It One Day at a Time
Healing doesn’t mean forgetting. It means learning to carry your love and memories differently.
“As time passes, your sadness will give way to calm acceptance,” says Dr. Jurilla. “That doesn’t mean you love the person you lost any less, it means they continue to live in your heart.”
When to Seek Help
If grief begins to interfere with your ability to function or if you feel persistently hopeless, reach out for professional help. Psychiatrists and counselors at MakatiMed can provide support and coping tools for your emotional wellness journey.
For more information, contact MakatiMed On-Call at +632 8888 8999, email mmc@makatimed.net.ph or visit www.makatimed.net.ph
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